1          I can use a variety of modern communication tools, e.g speech, writing, computer, sign languages.

Communication tools are everywhere and many of them you use daily without even noticing! Can you talk to people? How about on the phone? Perhaps you can write letters or use a computer – you’re using one right now aren’t you? All of these are valuable communication tools. Make sure you count everything from sign language to using your email account.

2          I can listen attentively and respond to both verbal and non-verbal messages from people

Think how you know your children are not enjoying something even when they are politely keeping quiet – this is a starting point to understanding all sorts of messages:  eye contact or not (bearing in mind the different meaning this has in different cultures), gestures, posture, body movements, and tone of voice. All of these signals can convey important information that isn’t put into words. By paying closer attention to other people’s nonverbal behaviours, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally. Can you recognise your own and others’ vocal style? Is it, for example, clipped, relaxed, officious, reassuring, judgemental, furtive, attractive? What about the rhythm? Is it disjointed and hard to follow what is being said, or flowing and easy on the ear? Does the intonation help to maintain interest, or is the delivery very flat and likely to make the mind wander? Is there adequate stress on important words or phrases?

Responding: You may not like phrases such as ‘go with the flow’ or ‘blue sky thinking’, but they actually unite people by being almost universally understood. So it is helpful not to dismiss any platitude or cliché the other person uses. Having said that, take care not to introduce jargon through your own communication – avoid using words and phrases which can patronise people — present yourself as a human being not a bureaucrat.

Finally, in this context, the following little-known adage is worth committing to memory: ‘The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid’ (Anon.)

3          I can present an argument both verbally and in writing.

This is essentially   about giving clear messages. Here’s an unclear message: ‘Can I speak to you for a minute? I don’t know how to put this, but you upset me the other day, and I feel really upset… the thing is you were very rude, it’s a shame because I like you normally ….’ The speaker eventually spells out what he/she is upset about. A clearer message would be: ‘ I think you are very good at …. (this must be honest!), but you did not give me a chance to present my case at the staff meeting’. Expressing yourself in an assertive way is the right balance between meek, vague communication on one side and avoids bluntness on the other.

4          I can express myself and ideas clearly, concisely and logically in speech and writing

Do you know the basic rules for both?

1. Always start at the beginning – this is not always as obvious as it sounds
2. Group your ideas – don’t ‘butterfly’
3. Give reasons for your views
4. Present the opposite to make your point: “ I believe smoking is bad for you,  because…but ….websites will tell you the opposite.’

5          I can influence others and gain agreement or acceptance of a plan/idea/activity

This is about being able to negotiate. Negotiation is not just for business deals – it is something that we do all the time. For example, we use it in our social lives for deciding a time to meet, or where to go on a rainy day If you and another person cannot agree on a course of action, you can set out what the ‘bottom line is, and ask them to do the same– think about parents trying to get their children to eat their dinner using the ‘bargaining chip’ of dessert. There is nothing wrong with a compromise based on negotiation, so long as this is ethically achieved. Unethical examples are offering favours in return for information, or dishonest flattery. You may have to try to persuade someone, when negotiation has failed, that an important course of action is needed. Good negotiating isn’t about winning and it isn’t about someone else losing.

6          I understand other viewpoints and appreciate cultural differences.

In theory we know that everyone is different, though in practice we may unconsciously expect people to be the same. Many of us have learned this as parents!

Differences are individual, usually described as ‘personality clashes’ when they have become uncomfortable, and they are also cultural, based on gender, age, ethnicity, race, cultural/linguistic background, sexual orientation and degree of mental or physical strength. Our personalities and cultural backgrounds shape our beliefs, values and attitudes. We have a bond with those individuals who share these.

Key to understanding other viewpoints is understanding:

- what those beliefs, vales and attitudes are, which can be different from what we think the are

- something of the beliefs values and attitudes of those people who are different from ourselves

7          I adjust how I communicate to suit the understanding of my target audience.

How many do you use?

Drawing

Even though you, like a lot of people, may not jump to drawing as your first choice of communication, be open to the idea of using images. Many people are inhibited by the fact that they are not artists, yet most of us connect immediately to a diagram or sketch. Drawing stick figures can be a simple but direct way of communicating ideas simply.

Pictures from magazines

This needs preparation – if images portraying people, ensure there are positive representations of people from diverse backgrounds.

Real-life accessories

For example, showing someone a kitchen utensil they have not used before is much better than describing it.

Appealing  to the senses

Think how you can utilise the 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. People with learning disabilities and dementia benefit greatly from this type of environment.

Generally, make visual materials age-appropriate. For example, do not give children’s pictures to an adult

Language, in whichever of its various forms, is a tool.  Like a tool in a workshop, handle it with care and don’t let it go rusty, or else it may not perform the job it’s supposed to, and can hurt you and others.

Adapted from Kindred,   M.,    Kindred,   M   (2011)   500 Tips for Communicating with the Public. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

8          I usually evaluate how well my message is received.

‘You can put evaluation to work for you or your organisation’ (Arts Council England, 2007).

There are a range of ways of gathering feedback from people. If you are employed there will be proformas available, but in all cases, your  ’audience’ members should be asked if they are willing to give their views and time taken to explain the reason for their involvement. Methods should be used which are appropriate to individuals’ needs. Questions should be in plain English or relevant languages and may be put verbally or in writing, depending on individual circumstances. For children, people with learning difficulties, and those who do not use words, games designed for evaluation can be used e.g. using smiley faces or number cards as ‘rating’ measures.

Always remember that individuals’ feedback may be coloured by the fact that they do not wish to offend, in case they prejudice you against them.

Questionnaire adapted from Bournemouth University, 2005

 

Article written by Maggie Kindred of Kindred Games and Books.

Maggie Kindred originally trained as a teacher, then moved into social work. She combined training with social work practice for many years. She is also a qualified online tutor specialising in social work, groupwork, teamwork and approaches to learning.